Lets Talk Depression

Over the years Iโ€™ve had several bouts of ๐๐ž๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง and now I feel Iโ€™m starting to have anxiety as Iโ€™m facing more health challenges. I have gone to therapy in the past but Iโ€™ve never stayed consistent at it because thereโ€™s always the ๐’”๐’•๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’Ž๐’‚ ๐’Š๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’๐’‚๐’„๐’Œ ๐’„๐’๐’Ž๐’Ž๐’–๐’๐’Š๐’•๐’Š๐’†๐’” when it comes to your mental health but after going a few sessions I felt I could better handle that myself with prayer but I feel now everything is snowballing and getting bigger and bigger to where it is truly overwhelming. Dealing with past ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง as a child, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ three years apart in my twenties, being ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ซ๐œ๐ž๐ twice, ๐œ๐จ-๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  with a child in a different state, a new marriage which is wonderful but still something to add to some stress, raising a special needs to a stepchild, losing my career due to lupus, and having multiple chronic illnesses.

Man after I typed all of that Iโ€™m so thankful Iโ€™m not in a mental institution. I had to grow up fast because my mother suffered from chronic illness and I started being a ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ at a young age and a new part of my childhood was taken because of her illness and I used to always think I never want my child to have to go through what I went through having a sick mother, but the tables were turned and I struggle with the same things from my childhood with my son. When I was diagnosed officially my son was 13 but I started getting sick when he was 11 and trying to explain to a child that after you work a 40 hour week you literally have no energy to do anything was so difficult. I still have moments where ๐ˆ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐ญ๐ฒ for being sick my son is now 19 and he understands it now but I knew it took a toll on him. I know so many of us have suffered from depression because the life you knew has completely changed because of this illness and it feels like youโ€™re ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  around you whether itโ€™s the ability to complete daily tasks, bath ourselves, or work. This life is not an easy one but I know with prayer things will get better but to use the wisdom that God gave me I think itโ€™s ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ to get additional help that I need.

SAMHSAโ€™s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

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