Over the years Iโve had several bouts of ๐๐๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง and now I feel Iโm starting to have anxiety as Iโm facing more health challenges. I have gone to therapy in the past but Iโve never stayed consistent at it because thereโs always the ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ when it comes to your mental health but after going a few sessions I felt I could better handle that myself with prayer but I feel now everything is snowballing and getting bigger and bigger to where it is truly overwhelming. Dealing with past ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง as a child, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ three years apart in my twenties, being ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ซ๐๐๐ twice, ๐๐จ-๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ with a child in a different state, a new marriage which is wonderful but still something to add to some stress, raising a special needs to a stepchild, losing my career due to lupus, and having multiple chronic illnesses.
Man after I typed all of that Iโm so thankful Iโm not in a mental institution. I had to grow up fast because my mother suffered from chronic illness and I started being a ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ซ at a young age and a new part of my childhood was taken because of her illness and I used to always think I never want my child to have to go through what I went through having a sick mother, but the tables were turned and I struggle with the same things from my childhood with my son. When I was diagnosed officially my son was 13 but I started getting sick when he was 11 and trying to explain to a child that after you work a 40 hour week you literally have no energy to do anything was so difficult. I still have moments where ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐ญ๐ฒ for being sick my son is now 19 and he understands it now but I knew it took a toll on him. I know so many of us have suffered from depression because the life you knew has completely changed because of this illness and it feels like youโre ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ around you whether itโs the ability to complete daily tasks, bath ourselves, or work. This life is not an easy one but I know with prayer things will get better but to use the wisdom that God gave me I think itโs ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ to get additional help that I need.
SAMHSAโs National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
smilesbehindlupus.com 